The Gauze and the Goose

It’s been way too long since I’ve added to this blog. I was recently encouraged and inspired to start writing again. Please keep in mind this is a personal blog so what is written is coming straight from my heart and my own personal feelings.  Running an animal sanctuary has extreme highs and extreme lows and this is me, dealing with some of the lows. Tomorrow is another day.

I have to be honest, writing about my hand and then following it up with Rosie’s death took a lot out of me. It is not easy for me to get to the emotional side of things.  Right now though, the emotions are raging so I figured I would sit down and see what comes out.  I work hard at really looking at the positive and not focusing on the bad days, bad moments, or anything all that negative. It’s a survival thing when you work in the animal business.  But today, was NOT a good day.  Back at the end of February we got a dog. Actually, he was given to us and supposedly a hybrid wolf but there’s not much wolf in him. He’s really just a VERY large puppy.  He was recently neutered (at the time) and fully vetted.

Fast forward to last week; Nigel noticed that there was blood dripping from him.  When I took him to work his scrotal sac (where he had been neutered) was infected. We tried antibiotics for a week but nothing changed so we had to go to surgery.  I really don’t mind being in on the surgery for my own pets. I was anxious for this one though. I’m not sure why. I guess it’s because there was an unknown. We had no idea what was causing this or what we’d find. The poor doctor got tired of me asking…”What is it?” He took the sac off and after Vlad was sutured back up and stable he started taking the pieces apart.  A piece of gauze! Whoever did the surgery back in February left gauze inside the dog.  You hear of this sort of thing happening and I knew he would be fine but it still brings out a lot of emotions when it’s your own pet. Probably even more so when you’re in the business and know how things are supposed to go and what could have happened if we didn’t catch this so early.  Vlad is home tonight and although he’s NOT happy about looking like a satellite dish in the front yard with his collar, he’s doing well and will recover fine.  My nerves however are taking longer to heal than his.

There were other little things throughout the day that added to frustration but nothing earthshattering. That is until later tonight.  We recently rebuilt the farmyard building because a Great Horned Owl had killed and terrorized our animals last fall. We really thought this new build was working well.  That is until Nigel called for me urgently tonight after being out there. Poor Gertie Goose was badly injured. It was gruesome for those that don’t have a stomach for blood. We cleaned her up well and treated all the injuries. The nursing care has started and all we can do is hope for the best.  It has left me feeling rather defeated. We are supposed to be protecting these animals. The pigs, dogs or even guinea fowl never made any noise.

These are just 2 things that happened in one day. Doing this job requires one to have a strong stomach and the ability to think and act in tense situations. But it also has a very high emotional cost.  I was telling someone the other day that Nigel never asks me how my day went when I come home. They were shocked but quite honestly, I prefer it that way. He knows I will tell him the things that are important or that I want to share. For the most part though, I do not want to relive a lot of the things that go on.  I deal with those things at work then come home and turn it off.  It’s the only way I can handle the emotional stress of it all.  That’s all well and good though for the vet clinic. Here at the rescue, that’s my home.  That’s a lot harder to shake off.  Perhaps, that’s why tonight I have turned to writing.